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the adventures of the world's goofiest dog.

the best fuckin' band in the universe!

The Finger
the official website of the Most Offensive Gesture.

European Sewer Tour
The Sex Issue
50 Years of Ooze

Science Fiction
Slime Issue
Traveling with Ooze
...and more
Order Crap
Great Price
THE FINGER: A Comprehensive Guide to Flipping Off - We wrote it $10

Ooze T-shirts-$10

Ooze Stickers-$1

Disco Jesus shirts and posters-$4 + $10
If George Lucas makes the 7th Sequel to Star Wars - we all die!

for Vice President
Our unsuccessful bid to run a Mexican wrestler on the Democratic ticket.

PWEETA - People Who Enjoy Eating Tasty Animals
We want you to EAT MORE MEAT!

About Ooze
Who is Ooze? See their compromising photos, and their even more compromising biographies.
Live Shows
Ooze performs LIVE in Los Angeles and other cities- just not right now. Look here for reviews of past performances, new bookings, and more. Or you can book 'em yourself.

get shirts

A Great Gift Book

Ever wonder who was the first person to flip someone off? I bet you didn't know if happened more than 2500 years ago. THE FINGER is a gift that keeps on giving special love for as long as the paper isn't rotting in a dumpster. GREAT GIFT! Get it from Ooze. Get it from Amazon .


Le Journál d' Sewer
Ooze visited Foreign Parts investigating sewer tours in 10 European cities. Why would anyone want to visit a filthy poo canal? That's what we wanted to know too, since each of these cities has some sort of tour or museum dedicated to sewerage open to the public.

To see our regular Humorous Pieces access The Sex Issue or any of our other Back Issues including the World Famous site, THE FINGER where you can read excerpts and order copies of the GREATEST BOOK EVER WRITTEN.

Our Plan
Why are we going into some of the World's Filthiest Places? Because we can! Read our plan and what you can expect to see if you come back. Rip roaing adventurous fun. (updated)

Planning Your Own Sewer Tour
Want to waltz through the rivers of waste like Ooze? We've given you all the information you need to see the murk of 12 cities. There's other stuff (like culture and buildings) at these places too, but who cares?

Ooze Magazine

Brussels Sewer (le egout)

Smell the Brussels Sewer!

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Ooze Wants You To Search for Amazon Products!

The Sewer Tour is Sponsored in part by

Justin Hall's Justin held a contest in March where we won a round-trip ticket to anywhere in the world for our sewer tour. Thanks!

.Les Egouts De Paris


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Look cool - be cool. New Baby With Fork In Head T-Shirts, Jesus Dancing Shirts and more in a variety of styles. Visit the new Ooze Spreadshirt Ordering System and be hip for life.




PWEETA ON PARADE at the Tofu Fest!
he People Who Enjoy Eating Tasty Animals are BACK in this video! Join PWEETA as they protest for the rights of Meat Eaters at a Tofu Festival, and see how they spread the fleshy word to a hostile vegetarian conspiracy. PWEETA won't quit until 100% of the population EATS MORE MEAT.

ICE LIBERATION: Saving Planet Earth One Ice Cube at a Time!
Join ONE CUBE as they attempt to get people to give them any spare ice they have. Why? Because they are going to ship that ice to the arctic the rebuild our planet's glaciers - one cube at a time!

The Hottest Rock Band in Hollywood is back in 3 new videos featuring Booze, Babes, Bass, and a monthly visitor who forgot to show up! Also- music video for the song, Party to Party (to Party) and court deposition video of a youth comitting suicide by masturbation claiming the band commanded him to do it in the lyrics to the song, "Choke the Chicken Till You DIE."

Cats in Where? Prague? CATS! In Prague?
Rini goes to Prague to see the Blacklight Puppet Theatre Show, "Cats (in Prague)" - what the ticket seller calls a parody. Of Cats? Huh? Video from Jeff@thehouse.

In Los Angeles?
Matt Patterson of Ooze shows some all New Videos, pictures, adventure stories and more. June 21, 8PM in Hollywood. Ooze is first. The rest is dedicated to the website Jeff at the House which we direct. What is JATH? See demo JATH here. Download flier for more info. Go! Go!

LISTEN and LEARN! The Royal Board of Educations in association with Funkdamental Presents: Hustle (Don't Just Sit There) An Motivational Diversion for Schoolchildren by Bootyquake Formula No. 7 of Sheffield and Steve Benaquist. See it here.

SADDAM HUSSIEN and OOZE on the YouTube
New Cellphone Camera video of Saddam! We uncovered a video of Saddam arguing with his guards before his execution, and calling them n-words. Not since Michael Richards has such an explosive cell video hit the internet! See it here.

A PWEETA reader wrote us to find out how to best cook her captive mantas - and we suggest cooking TACOS! Also a hunter writes PWEETA about what to do with lib-beral vegetarians...

new pweeta shirts

9/11 Jokes will Save the USA! It's time to LAUGH, America!
America wrestles with the fifth anniversary of the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks, people are finally beginning to ask some important questions. Like, "Where is this country going?" "Why is there still a big empty pit where the towers once stood?" and "Where are the hilarious post-disaster 9/11 jokes?" We got them right here.

Produced by Ooze Editor Eddie Schmidt, this controversial film is now playing all around the country. You should see it. The New York Times wrote an editorial about it. That means it's important. And reviewers say it's funny too.

Ooze Helps Develop "Cool" website
Time Magazine named the Yugioh GX Groove Room website (Ooze made animations with who made the site for Mattel) as one of the "50 Coolest Websites of 2006"!  Look Ma! We do work for "the man" and sometimes even make money! Kids, you too can grow up, debase yourself on the web, and not be total losers.

Look cool - be cool. New Baby With Fork In Head T-Shirts, Jesus Dancing Shirts and more in a variety of styles. Visit the new Ooze Spreadshirt Ordering System and be hip for life. Helps Kids Cheat on Term Papers
A High School student wrote the President of PWEETA (People Who Enjoy Eating Tasty Animals) asking him to answer some questions about the benefits of an all-meat diet vs. vegetarianism. Karl sent her back his answers which he will now share with all Educators everywhere. And if the student did not get an A, PWEETA will picket.

New Video!
The Force is a Tool of Satan: The Trailer

Ooze poses as fundementalist christians opposed to The Force as a false religion which dooms fans to an eternity in hell. The completed film will feature footage from 6 years of protests.

Ooze: The Reel

We attempt to explain what Ooze TV is. Helpful if you've been trying to explain to your parents that this is NOT a porn site, or if you're just unsure what you've stumbled upon.

2 New Dingleberrys' Songs!Dingleberrys!
The Dingleberrys released two new songs. Party to Party (to Party) is the ultimate Party Anthem. The Dingleberrys Theme rocks on about the band, and their plan for the World Domination of the Music Charts.Visit their homepage or their myspace blog to listen to these sure-to-be Gold Records.

HOW DOES THE MPAA RATE FILMS? See how the MPAA controls what you see in this series of semi-animated films.

Ooze was invited to create Proof of Concept visuals for a segment in the Sundance Festival film, "This Film is Not Yet Rated" by Kirby Dick - These movies are a slide show used by the producer to show how animations would work in the film. They're still FUNNY. The full movie will air on IFC in September.

Dingleberrys' Videos!Dingleberrys!
The Dingleberrys are at it again - this time they are preparing you for their dramatic debut. Watch furry animals make their friend choose: his band, or his unborn baby. See oozeTV for this video fun.


Celebrity Parking Only!Tap Trek
Ooze posts "Celebrity Parking Only" signs in LA - If Celebrities are better than regular people, we thought that they should have special parking spots on public streets. See oozeTV for more video fun.

oozeTV iTunes podcast
same crap, new way to see it
oh boy. If you go to iTunes, then go to Podcasts in the music store, then look up comedy or type in "ooze," you can watch our videos and write crap about our videos there without slogging through all our ads. It makes us look "sophisticated" and "new" even though we've been bringin you internet video since '99.

The Dingleberrys have a new blog over on myspace. Follow their fortnightly adventures as three giant animals try to make their way through the LA Rock Scene and Become Famous. They are retarded.

note: you can now JOIN our new RSS feed and submit crap that's yours or that you find somewhere. GO NOW!

oozeTV has a new sibling - the oozeTV RSS feed! Take a peek. Right now there are two ALL-NEW videos up there (and not here) ROBOTS GONE WILD and ALIEN SEX PARTY. Got any videos you want to share? Anyone can link stuff in our Odd Video Collection. After 11 years of not listening to you, Ooze suddenly CARES.

Hollywood Sex Tour Ooze convinces seven unsuspecting tourists in Hollywood to get into a van with us for two hours to see where celebrity scandals happened. We visit the toilet where cops caught George Michael jerking off, the alley Eddie Murphy picked up a foot fetishist cross dresser, where Hugh Grant got his money for his infamous blow job and much much more. Real tour operators felt so threatened they tried to bust us for operating a tour without a licence! See it on OOZETV

Ooze Editor's L.A. Movie Premeire
Ooze Editor MJ Loheed premieres his feature film, FREEZE OUT at the Westwood Film Festival on Sun. Oct. 12 -10:30 pm at the Crest Theatre. It's a comedy about people so into poker, they lose track of the important things in life - like lying to your friends, having sex and cheating - but instead play poker. Or is it the other way around? 1262 Westwood Blvd. LA. The Cast includes Real Celebrities! Click on the link above to find out more or listen to MJ on the radio talking about the movie.

IGN.COM Star Wars is Evil Film
Mortimer Fontaine of was recently spotted on video talking about the Evil of Star Wars to the Mega Gaming Site Now Owned By Fox. Best explanation of the Soul Destroying Nature of Star Wars caught on film. Click the fat face at the bottom to watch.
The Dingleberrys are the #1 Band in the World. Their website has a song and video on it, with more to come along with a myspace page! All the Kids like the Dinglberrys Rock! Make them your MYSPACE friends. (They don't have any except for that guy everyone gets)

Tap Trek TAP
You gotta see Tap Trek. Why? Star Trek. Tap Dance. Need I say more? In this new video, the crew of the USS Shufflin' Foot fights Abraham Lincoln for control of the UNIVERSE!

R2-DEMON2 Shirts!

$17.99 includes domestic shipping

R2-DEMON2 T Shirt

People are Stupid
Millions of people have visited Tool of Satan, and that's just swell. But this time, (as opposed to 1999) not only do we get reams of hate mail for an obvious joke (many many clues) - we have the world of blogs to peruse. Blogs that post their "thoughts" - and when they finally figure out it's a joke, get to post more. Usually they think it's a bad joke, since they didn't get it themselves. I guess they missed the point. They are the joke. Mostly because people mouth off without thinking. Way too many links to post, so just go to google and look up "toolofsatan" or "r-2-demon-2" and see for yourself.

People have gone super nutty on Tool of Satan. There is even an ebay auction selling the "tools" Target Gift Bags (for very little.) Read about that and more in our very functional Tool of Satan Forums.

We protest the new Star Wars (again). basically we went to the opening of Star Wars and passed out these flyers. People freaked. See new hyper-christian pamphleteering at the Tool of Satan.

Pointless Message Board
Talk crap about whatever you want. I set this up so Ooze readers can make their own content for each other and I don't have to. Ooze Message Board.

Cafe Press Deletes "Offensive" Material
Citing potential riots, Cafe Press officially removed all offensive merchandise from the Ooze Store. We adhere to our stand that these shirts are Peace Loving.

Chompo's Lost Lunch
One-eye dogs, rainbows, unicorns, and corruption at the highest levels. Ooze's latest family entertainment bonanza is finally finished. 30 pages of doggie fun.

Buy Ooze Stuff
We've completely revamped the order page -making it much easier to read - and added a whole bunch of new items to the Cafe Press Shoppee. It has to be seen to be believed. Color Jesus T's, Baby with Fork in Head infantwear, and lots and lots of Chompo stuff.

Chompo T-shirt Buy Chompo Stuff
Visit Chompo's Shoppee and get t-shirts, undie-pants, lunch boxes and more. CHOMPO SCHWAG for XMAS!
Ooze's popular one-eyed dog, Chompo, now has her own website at This is a no-toothed Chompo fest filled with pictures, videos, animations, stories, and Chompo Merchandise. The Flash Storybook™ Chompo's Lost Lunch is a tour d' force of storytelling - with a cliffhanger ending!

Obey the iFilm
OBEY THE SIGNS... AND LIVE! is now featured on ifilm. Why see it on a Big Website when you can see it here with out all the crappy ads? It'll be bigger, faster, and put less of a load on our servers and will make us feel cool when lots of people see it and knock on our e-door and make us rich and famous.

George Bush "Flip-Off"
PResident Giving the Finger when he was a Governor See the President Flip the Bird

When George Bush was Governor of Texas he gave the camera a "One-Fingered Salute" before going on the air. While Bush may not have been the Commander-in-Chief at the time, this video is historically significant because the highest ranking U.S. official caught flipping someone off previously was Vice-President Nelson Rockefeller in 1975. Mr. Rockefeller was thought to be in the first stages of dementia at the time and died two years later. The same thing could be argued about Bush, but two years later he was made President. (1.1 mb)

In July 2004, a protestor reported that Mr. Bush had given HIM the finger, but alas no camera caught the offending gesture.

Ooze at Los Angeles (area)Film Festival
The Century City Film Festival is sort of proud to present OBEY THE SIGNS... AND LIVE! on the big screen in... Hollywood. Why see it on the Big Screen when you can see it for free online? It'll be, BIGGER, and will make us feel better when you laugh and the rest of the audience is horrified. Want this film in your festival?
Event is Over

Ooze Guy on 1010 WINS
The Finger
New York news radio reports on the Finger in america and talks to MATT PATTERSON. (1.5 meg mp3 file)

Ooze Guy on NPR
This American Life
Eddie Schmidt whores out his family to Ira Glass on "This American Life." Ed talks about a piece of cheese that cost his parents $10,000.

My Brother's Wedding
Do you care
? My brother got married and I happened to hold the video camera. I figured I worked on it enough, I might as well share it with the world...

Abu Ghraib Photo Shocker
Due to the Freedom of Information Act, Ooze has received some shocking new photos of further abuse by the Army on Iraqi prisoners

Haven't been to Ooze in a while? See SEVEN new OozeTV episodes. Dildos, Priests, Dogs, NEW CULO NEGRO FOOTAGE, Signs, and the scariest Cream Pie Fight you'll ever see

NEW "award winning" FILM
Fresh from TROMADANCE 2004, Ooze's travesty of filmmaking is available for download.
Rules exist for a reason, and signs quickly and effectively tell you what to do. If you don’t obey the signs, you could die ...or worse.


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