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A kooky collection of videos from the Vaults of Ooze.
If George Lucas makes the 7th Sequel to Star Wars - we all die!

for Vice President
Our unsucessful bid to run a Mexican wrestler on the Democatic ticket.

PWEETA - People Who Enjoy Eating Tasty Animals
We want you to EAT MORE MEAT!

50 Years of Ooze
Science Fiction
Slime Issue
Traveling with Ooze
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THE FINGER: A Comprehensive Guide to Flipping Off - We wrote it $10

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Ooze Magazine
The Sex Issue
Vagina Missle Defense
Ooze in 'SEX' -LIVE
Ooze brings their twisted vision to the theatre in a show combining sketches and video pranks. No new shows now- but see our videos on oozeTV.
About Ooze
Who is Ooze? See their compromising photos, and their even more compromising biographies.
The Finger - The Website
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Ooze #13
2001's controversial issue

This issue was so offensive that my own mother asked if I was feeling, "well" and if I had any issues with her growing up that I hadn't shared.

Ooze is updated weekly. Subscribe to our NEW WEEKLY e-mail with e-mail-only hilarity and find out when Ooze is updated.

Link to CURRENT Ooze

The Finger: The Update
Since we published the book, THE FINGER: A COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE TO FLIPPING OFF and the companion website, information on The World's Most Insulting Gesture is more in demand than ever. Read about the Agincourt Finger Myth, see all new celebs like Russell Crowe and Michael Jackson flipping the bird, witness a guy who flips you off while his hands are on fire, and more!

The Adventures of Barf-O-Man!
When I was 11, I drew The Adventures of Barf-O-Man -something so disgusting that I threw it in the bottom of a drawer. It was supposed to be a a funny AND sexy comic strip, only I didn't know much about sex, much less girls or even comedy.

Pentagon Disaster Jokes
Months after 9/11 there aren't that many jokes -good or bad- floating around. The Ooze staff is not keen on being the first Quality Humor Website to pop that comic cherry, so instead, Ooze hopes to promote world peace by presenting a (much less) controversial list of official Pentagon Disaster Jokes.

Hate Mail
You hate us! You really hate us!
Read a letter from someone who accuses us of misrepresenting Aaron Burr! Read how a Tipper Gore fan was offended! And many others write asking if Ooze could fall off the face of the Internet.

Check out these weird and offensive shirts!
Some really bizarre tshirts

Snake Oil Heals the Freakshow
Ever sit up late at night watching The 700 Club? Ooze did, and reports that Pat Robertson may actually have the power to heal the carnival freakshow out of existence!

Shit on the Web (aka Links)
Ooze culls the internet to bring you the Top Quality Sex websites (this is the Sex Issue...) you expect from a multi-national humor organization.

Sick Cartoons
Gaspirtz takes big Garfield-esque google eye cartooning - with its friendly, comforting faces - and turns it on its head. Guaranteed completely lasagna-free!

Real Reality TV
There is no bigger oxymoron in entertainment than Reality Television. What's so real about taking a bunch of idiots, putting them on an island, and making them play elimination games for a $1,000,000? Network Execs take note- Ooze gives you REAL Reality programs...

Terror Strikes the Ooze Office
On an otherwise quiet morning, one of my dogs, pawed the other one's eyeball almost all the way out of her head in a devastating strike. Exclusive aftermath photos! Business Plan
Only a few short years ago, a guy with a copy of PowerPoint and a Dream could fleece investors out of millions of dollars for the silliest of internet schemes. In these dark days, Ooze attempts to get the country back on its feet by offering the investment opportunity of a LIFETIME! Invest what little money you have in OOZE! (Made [horribly] with PowerPoint so you know we're serious!)

Le Petomane: Behind Music
Would you believe the most popular performer of 19th century France was a guy who sang songs out his ass? You better. Ooze takes an exclusive look a forgotten hero of Paris who farted his way to the top- and fizzled back down - a flaccid forgotten whoopee cushion.

Queen of the B-Cups
A dark little corner of a "family values" oriented video company produces much of the sleaze lineing every video store shelf. B-movie stars in B-roles parading their bare B-cups. And I, a woman, was in charge of "auditioning" naked girls

Ooze's Romance Secrets
How does the typical OOZE reader keep the spirit of "amour" alive in a relationship that's musty, old, and rattier than a carpet used to wrap a dead body? The SEXperts at Ooze are here to shake your ball and chain!

Teen Pregnancy Stinks!
Does anyone disagree with that? Because if you do, you can take it up with a giant cartoon skunk TODD MERRIMAN saw on a billboard in North Carolina.

¡Comé el Gato!
PWEETA's in depth look at Cat Cooking inspired Miranda Everitt, a 9th grader from Ohio, to create a poster and share the doctrine of baked feline with her Spanish Class. Some Spanish required.

How to Cook a Cat
On a "libertarian" medium like the Internet, there is no end of sites dedicated to the construction of homemade bombs and weapons of mass destruction. However, a quick check on any search engine will uncover a striking lack of quality cat eating advice available in English.

Sickness of the Stars
Gary Coleman- SEX SLAVE!When a celebrity contracts a terrible disease, the world takes notice - look at the money pouring into Superman and Michael J. Fox Disease. But does a celebrity have to get the disease to make it famous? Ooze links healthy celebs with diseases by renaming them in their honor.

A Note From Our Lawyer
Ooze has been BANNED from several corporate and educational networks for its "mature" content. Mature? Our Lawyer is going to get us BIG MONEY for that kind of slander!

Lube Lessons for the Chronic Masturbator
TODD MERRIMAN masturbates with anything in his house he can get his grubby mitts on. Read this handy guide for the discriminating masturbator.

Karoling Klansmen
Is there an innapropriate time of year for a cartoon about a wasseling band of cider addled racists? Probably May or something.

It's Porning in America
Once upon a time, "pornography" was something to hide beneath the matress in a greasy paper bag. Author EDDIE SCHMIDT boldly predicts casual erotica will crop up in every nook and cranny of our lives- even in places that have nothing to do with sex

for Vice President
Our unsucessful bid to run a Mexican wrestler on the Democatic ticket is fossilized on the web.

This issue of Ooze isn't really for people who get all sqeamish about sex, and of course, isn't legal for those under 18. You babies can read the Back Issues.

Mmm- read my articles big boy- me love you!
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