HOW TO COOK MANTA RAYS AND THEN PWEETS TALKS ABOUT VEGETARIAN GAYS
Karl Fundare Answers Real Questions from a Real Readers about Eating Meat
Dear Mr. Fundare of PWEETA,
I have four live Manta Rays in a salt water pool and I was wondering what's the best way to cook them? Do we bake them? Boil them like a lobster? Fry? Rotisserate, BBQ, and cut them up for a salad? I'm sure your experience will help us cook them properly!
Lorraine (e-mail withheld)
When beloved Animal Wrestler Steve Irwin died at the hands of a normally docile sea creature, there have been reports of people abusing Manta and Sting Rays, leaving them to die. PWEETA is totally against this behavior. It's wasteful!
Our research suggests that Manta or Sting Ray is a lovely delicacy enjoyed through South East Asia and even Mexico. In Baja, fishermen have overfished much of the shark out of the area (which PWEETA does NOT support, as it deprives future generations of delicious meals (but we simultaneously believe that in the future all matter will be consumed by the ultimate carnivore of Time)- so there is a demand for this.
Presenting: the PWEETA Manta Taco. It's a combination of the Eastern love for Things from the sea, and the Western love of tacos. You'll need:
1 lb. of manta fillets
Flour tortillas (because we're Yankees)
Salsa - whatever kind you like
Thinly slice a cabbage up and mix with a tbsp of cider vinegar and salt. This is the crap most people don't eat at the taco stand because it's not meaty. It just makes everything look better.
Heat the tortillas to a medium high heat. Add a half a teaspoon of butter on one side of one tortilla and put it in the pan butter side down. Flip it when it sizzles and keep flippin it. If this seems too complex, pop it in the microwave. This isn't really about the friggin' tortialla either.
Filet your Manta. I'd bonk a live one over the head first to make sure it's dead. You don't want to get stung. I attached a picture of some Mexicans doing a fillet. Do it like that.
Soak the Manta fillets in cold water for at least one minute. Heat a large stick-free skillet and add 2 teaspoons of olive oil. A thin fillet will take only one minute on each side to cook and should be barely translucent when cooked. Do not overcook the fish. Sprinkle with salt and pepper.
Put all the pieces together in the tortilla. Wrap it up and there you go...
If that doesn't sound good try this Ray recipe we found online.
YUM YUM! Fish Time!
President of PWEETA
WHAT TO DO WITH VEGETARIAN COCK SUCKERS
To the representatives of PWEETA,
Hell yes! I just found your site, and I love it. PWEETA's standpoints seem a little extreme for the general public, but they seem to mirror the absurdity of the views held by all vegans and the half-ass vegetarians. I can at least respect the fact that some people no matter how stupid or gay, stand so strongly on a subject, that they refuse to wear shoes made with leather. Or eat butter. Or drink milk. Funny though, most of them do eat cock (an animal product itself!)
As a hunter/rancher who raises beef, and hunts all North American animals possible, I find it very consoling to know there is atleast one group out there that is fighting back the vegetarian/vegans. They are some of the most extreme liberal assholes that I have ever met. That goes for every F@#$ing one I've met.
Clint Wood (e-mail witheld)
P.S. I'm passing on the meat recipe to a few family members. I hate to waste good meat, and I'm tired of burying every stray feline that wants to hang around.
Thanks for the kind words. We agree with you 101%! But are we extreme? At one time people thought that letting property-less men, women, and the dusky people vote was extreme too.
Sadly, vegetarianism knows knows no political boundaries and must be fought wherever it's found - it's just plain unhealthy. While some of our enemies call us, "animals" - they're the animals - mostly because they smell funny. PWEETA has its our priorities straight - we're out to save PEOPLE first!
Remember: never be afraid to tell anyone, conservatives, liberals, libertines, gays, straights, closet gays, guys who like to pull their puds in the closet with a nylon rope tied around his neck, or even those guys who looks totally normal in the corner -but they may not be. Vegetarians are EVERYWHERE!
Next time you eat something you shot- remember that there is a whole history of hunters cheering you on! And vegetarians wasting away in Hell screaming out to feast not on meat, but your SOUL!
President of PWEETA