Samuel L. Jaundice
Weird Alzheimer's
Star Warts

A Suggestion for Hollywood

Hugh Down's SyndromeWhen a celebrity contracts a terrible disease, the world takes notice. No one even knew what Lou Gehrig's disease was until Lou came down with it. As soon as Michael J. Fox announced he had Parkinson's Disease, he was before the Senate, educating the world on the shakes. Parkinson's may as well be renamed Fox's (not to be confused with the Jodie Foster film, "Foxes") since who the hell remembers Parkinson, anyway?

If a star gets your ailment, you better believe people will pour money into finding a cure. But does a celebrity actually have to come down with a disease for it to be named after him? Disease activists take note: Why not link your disease with a famous moniker BEFORE tragedy strikes? Ooze guarantees that money and press will rain from the sky!

George Lupus
Likely Candidates:
Hugh Down's Syndrome
Gonnarhea Perlman
Sarah Michelle Goiter
Cameron Diaz-thma
Samuel L. Jaundice
Warren Diabeattys
Sir Anthony Hotchkinson's Disease
Ebola Thurman
Don Ricketts
Joanne Whirly Cough
Ben Affliction
Gwyenth Pink Eye
Weird Alzheimer's
Toxoplasmosis Green
Ebola ThurmanAlicia Kidney Stone
George Lupus
David Schwimmeriphilis
Christina Aguieleprosy
Helen Huntchback

Like America's stadiums being named by the highest corporate bidder, some diseases may benifit from the Hollywood Marketing Machine by selling the exculsive rights to their names. Imagine the tie-in posibilities!

Charlie's Anal LeakagePleurisy of the Aples Bridget Jones' Diarrhea
O Botulism, Where Art Thou?
Chicken Run Pox
Me, Myself & Gangrene
Mission : Encephilitis
J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Ringworm
Charlie's Anal Leakage
Erin Bronchitis
Shingle's List
Hepatitis Potter
Cyster Act 2
Jo-Sepis & the Pussycats
Pleurisy of the Apes
Save the Last Dengue Fever
Herpes, The Love Bug
Psoriasis Of The Lambs
Crouching Tiger Hidden Vaginosis
Star Warts: The Phantom Virus

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