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There is no bigger oxymoron in entertainment than Reality Television. What's so real about taking a bunch of idiots, putting them on an island, and making them play elimination games for a $1,000,000?
OK – maybe it's, "On This Planet Earth and Existing in Three Dimensions" real, but it's not "Uncle Bob Drunkenly Fell into the Christmas Tree, and I Taped It" real. It's artificially real. Someone created it and is getting paid a lot of money so you can watch it.
Time for a reality check: there is nothing real on TV. Nothing.
Ooze compiled a list of shows that would better fit the real world's category of Reality TV. Really.
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WHO WANTS TO BE A TAXPAYER?
Six people hire six other people to prepare their income tax returns – with only days to go before April 15! Sit glued to the TV as some of the people get lots of money back, while others must pay more taxes, and even crushing late fees. Who will get caught with the Big Audit?
THE LIQUOR STORE
Five people come in and buy liquor. Some of the contestants are alcoholics - others are responsible drinkers. America will be riveted to see who the police remove each week. Who will try to forge a lottery ticket? Who has exact change? Who needs to use the rest room? Find out!
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GROCERY ISLAND
A hidden camera captures crowds of people shopping at a grocery store located on an inhabited island, like Manhattan. Some contestants use coupons and save money. Others do not. Most walk away from this shopping challenge with something to eat – that they didn't have to grow themselves! Witness modern product distribution at its most cut-throat!
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EVH - EMERGENCY VETERINARY HOSPITAL
Each week, new contestants bring sick and injured animals to a tough, but altruistic all-night animal hospital. Some animals live, others die, and yet others puke green bile and whine as blood leaks from their anal glands. Most are happy for the animals that live -yet sad for the ones that die. A lesson in life, death and ridiculously expensive medical procedures. Riveting reality!
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DMV-TV
Join frustrated drivers waiting in long lines at a Department of Motor Vehicles office that changes each week. Some have traveled miles by bus, car or train to register their automobiles or renew their licenses. Cameras linger over excited people taking their written driver's test. Some pass –but others fail. The people who fail may return later after thumbing through the DMV booklet to try again. |
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REAL ACTOR LIFE
Cameras follow 12 men and women who derive no income from their chosen profession. See them try to make ends meet as waiters, office workers and collect unemployment all while taking "Acting Classes," participating in "Community Theater," and "Sleeping with the Director."
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 NURSING HOME SURVIVOR
(or BLIND DATE WITH DEATH)
Families pay to have their elderly relatives tended to during their last days. Get to know each of these colorful (and not-so-colorful) characters as they die -one by one. Who will be ultimate old person?
MJ LOHEED had an obvious Eureka Moment while working as a ‘writer’ on a Reality TV pilot for a big studio. He was credited as a ‘Segment Producer’ because they insisted ‘reality really can't be written.’ And they can pay a producer less.
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