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Blonde & brawny Jorg Mammanhamar--third son of Kracknor--slays the beast of the written word with his blood-curdling, mead-drinking EDITORIAL
To find out the names of OOZE's contributors (and the 1927 New York Yankees lineup) click on the STAFF BOX. |
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OOZE assumes the twisted mantle of fundamentalist Christianity to protest "Star Wars" in OOZE STRIKES BACK. After reading our demented manifesto, laugh at the dour geeks who took the protest seriously in the bonus STAR WARS HATE MAIL section.
OOZE's resident stripper/contributor, Shirlspawn, returns with a mind-blowing, rectum-expanding document of her most memorable peepshow customer in THE ASSMAN COMETH.
We pull the scabs off a few well-worn taboos with MATT PATTERSON's scathing investigation into why HOT CHICKS DON'T DIG GUYS WHO LIKE SCI-FI. |
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More cheap and shameless jokes about food in the staff's second list of REJECTED BEN & JERRY FLAVORS.
Cabbage Patch Kids and their weird origins are uncovered in this anthropological dig into the Deep South, BABYLAND. Featuring photos of a real-live Baby Graveyard!
What's funnier than a crazy old man recalling a lifetime he can't remember? A fat guy trying to get out of a manhole? If you picked the former, check out "Maltshop" Joe Throneberry's rose-colored GOOD ÎOLE DAYS.
Social satirist, confused doofus, sex symbol of the century, or all of the above? Fearless Matt Patterson goes undercover in STAR TREK FAIRE OR RENAISSANCE CONVENTION? |
For the latest Hollywood sewage, check out the flow in OOZEYWOOD.
Professional ordinary guy Eddie Schmidt chronicles his accidental run-ins with the rich and flatulent in CELEBRITY SIGHTINGS.
Contributor Nate Nichols explores lost chestnuts in the William Shatner acting oeuvre in GET SHATNERED. |
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Everyone from little cousin Billy to old, whiskered Aunt Rotunda will be enthralled by our disgusting, Dickensian Yuletide fable, A VERY SPECIAL CHRISTMAS STORY. Television rights are still available.
Hunter Thompson: journalistic legend or dried up old fool? Roving reporter Zak Weisfeld scratches his literary hemorrhoids in IRRITATION AND ANNOYANCE IN LOUISVILLE.
Portrait Of The Artist as a Young Dork: Eddie Schmidt looks back on a childhood rife with bad, homemade comic books in the nostalgic COMIC GENIUS OR BUDDING RETARD?
What's uglier: A model without makeup or the creepy nerds who lust for her over the internet? Fear nothing but fear itself (or maybe just an axe-weilding murderer) in CONFESSIONS OF AN ONLINE GODDESS.
Want to turn the tables on salespeople who call you during dinner? Learn how to annoy the annoying in HOW TO ANSWER YOUR PHONE (LIKE AN IDIOT). |
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