Subscriptions

This survey is tabulated in Ooze #12. Check out the results!

Subscriptions

You don't want to miss an exciting issue of Ooze, the most erratically published zine on the internet! Fill out the simple form below that allows us to flood your e-mail address with useless pyramid scam offers.

Note: This subscription form only works if you have your browser configured to send e-mail. It will not work with AOL. If you have trouble submitting the form, just send a message to drbubonic@aol.com and indicate in the message body whether you want a WWW ANNOUNCE, TEXT, MAC or ACROBAT subscription.


	Select the Free Subscription to Ooze you want:


WWW Announce List

		Select this if you want to be updated whenever a new issue of Ooze is posted to the website.

Text Issue List

	Get the entire text edition of Ooze delivered to your mailbox. These files run about 100k in length.

Mac Application List

		An approximately 1 meg binhex file will be dumped into your mailbox 4 times a year. You will need to decode this file with a program like BinHex 4.0 to run it.

Adobe Acrobat 3.0 List

An approximately 1 meg uuencoded PDF file will be dumped into your mailbox 4 times a year. This file is cross-platform and can be sent around to your friends and stuff. Bring the Ooze home.

The Survey

Normally we don't believe in demographic surveys, but now and again, Ooze likes to get a bead on its readers. Our last survey (in Ooze #2 ) revealed our prime audience to be Mexican housewives between the ages of 40-55 with some sort of prosthetic limb. That seemed fair enough, but there were a few more questions we wanted to ask.

For our upcoming ROCK issue, tell us, in your opinion, what rock star is/was the smelliest?

You are most offended by the phrase:

A) Retarded Nigger

B) Piss-Sucking Cuntface

C) Fucking Fat Faggot

D) Gerald Ford

How will you help Ooze and its staffers achieve global domination?
Please e-mail schematics separately.

If you could kill Jerry Seinfeld, you would:

A) Run him over with one of his 9 Porches

B) Yell, "What's the deal with lead pipes?" as you bash his skull in with one

C) Plant a literal Booby Trap in one of girlfriend Shoshanna Lonstein's breasts

D) Other

When I say, "High School," what hot meal do you think of?

A) Roast Pig on a Bun

B) Swedish Pizza

C) Ms. Richardson

D) Other

Have you had surgery?

Yes

If Yes, please describe in excruciating detail.

The weirdest place I've ever seen body hair on someone is:

A) On top of their head

B) Behind their tibia

C) Inside a vaginal cavity

D) Other

Are you rich?

Yes

Why haven�t you given Ooze all your money?

Your Space

This is your space. Talk about how much you love Ooze, yourself, or the household appliance you'd most like to have relations with.

If you don't have a forms-capable browser and want a subscription, send an e-mail to drbubonic@aol.com with the words WWW Announce, TEXT, Adobe Acrobat (PDF) or Macintosh in the subject line depending on which subscription you want. Answer the rest of the questions only if you feel like it.


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