Ugly. Mean. Base. Vulgar. Obscene. Tasteless. Offensive. Subhuman. Retarded. Dirty. Sleazy. Impolite. Portentous of doom. Vindictive. Malaproprious. Vengeful. Scandalous. A glaring example of humanity's shortcomings. Evil. Ungrateful. Threatening. Curmudgeonly. Resentful. Negative. Inconsiderate. Controversial. Bad. Naughty. Showing a lack of restraint. A detriment to society. Filled with bad intent. Malicious. Satanic. Archaic. Anarchic. Lacking a certain panache. Futile. Cowardly. Misanthropic. In-your-face. Impudent. Inappropriate in mixed company. Only for those who lack the ability to express themselves in a clear verbal manner. Terrifyingly 3-D.

White people do it. Black people do it. Asians do it. Italians do it frequently. Senior citizens won't admit they do it, but they do. For over two thousand years the Middle Finger has fought a pitched battle against those who would demand you conform to their five Fingered world of polite, open-handed, beauty-queen waves--never expressing any discontent, any anger, or anything you might have to say.

The Middle Finger is the strength of any hand. The true worker of any hand. It is the one which constantly opens and closes for the synchronous benefit of its brother Fingers. The one that curls with optimism and hope around any task which betters life for the entire organism. Do you really think we could get by with just thumbs? Do you actually believe you're above your own Fingers? Clearly the Middle Finger is the superior Finger, because it's longer, it's stronger, and it deserves distinction.

Want to climb the ladder of corporate America? Let your Finger languish in your palm. Want to climb the ladder of freedom? Let your Finger do the talking.

Want to sublimate the masses? Become a man of letters, politics, and power. Want to incite a riot? Give a crowd the Finger.

Want to hide how you feel? Mask yourself in obscure meanings, arcane expressions, and clichés. Want people to know how you feel? Smash their comfortable illusions by unleashing your three-knuckled, flesh and bone, second-Finger-from-the-thumb attack directly upon their unsuspecting eyes.

The Finger will be televised- but it'll crack the camera lens. Do not imagine for a moment that the Finger will allow itself to be co-opted. It is no mere catch-phrase to be researched, quantified and cataloged for commercial use. It is a threat, a mantra, a way of being that comes directly from the base of the hypothalamus directly to the last digit of your thrusting destiny.

Give yourself the Finger. Feel the anger bubbling under the your face? Is it red? Are you eyes bulging out of your head? The Finger is about equality--equal contempt for all who attempt to capture the spirit and freedom of the Finger with their greedy gaze. Now you are ready to perform the Finger's will.

Don't allow yourself to be part of this sanctimony anymore. Raise yourself above prejudice and contempt. Open your mind and unfurl your center digit against, adversity, censorship, and ignorance--words which are truly, "ugly" and "mean." The Finger is not the problem--the Finger is the solution.

Salvation is at the tip of your FINGER!