Staff: Matt Patterson ( Ed Schmidt ( Zak Weisfeld ( Nubba the Quintuple Editor ( Gabe Wardell (whereabouts unknown) Mr. Noitall ( M.J. Loheed ( Whitney Fitzgerald ( Big Jim O'Donnel ( Ian Smith( Stephen Frowe ( Joe Wagner (doesn't own a computer)

Ooze is copyright ©1996 by Matt Patterson. Individual articles are copyrighted by their respective authors. We reserve the right to edit any correspondence sent to us. Don't steal text or art and claim it as your own, like some little record company did with the cover of issue 2. Contact me BEFORE you rip us off. Everyone and everything mentioned in this issue is not real. Ooze has a circulation of 5,314,203,666. It is free. Pass it along, upload it to your favorite BBS, print up full-color hard copies and give them to the homeless, just give me a significant cut of the profit. And if you post individual articles to other newsgroups and stuff, mention it's from Ooze, and post the sacred e-mail address ( or URL (

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Ooze #7 ----- Winter '96

Ooze Magazine
The Journal of Substance, Wit,and Dangerous Masturbatory Habits