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Ooze gets ABC NEWS to cover THE FINGER. Buck Wolf's column rarely misses. |
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Ooze is an official Starting Point website. I think this site used to matter back in '96, but then again, so did we. |
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YALSA - The Young American Library Services Association- Gave an award to THE FINGER |
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Spootwerks
Staffers M.J. Loheed and Eddie Schmidt shamelessly promote their video post-production empire on the web. Believe it or not, OOZE doesn't pay the rent. Los gringos actually have "day jobs"--but they're relatively cool, at least in light of other day jobs like "embalmer." Site provides background on the company as well as links to some of their highfallutin' clients, including Fine Line Features and drdrew.com. |
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Eddie Schmidt Rocks Your Mom
Thanks to Dan Dickinson of Freeverse software, Mr. Schmidt's music, recorded "live on an extremely cheap acoustic guitar" can now be heard 24/7 over the warm aural confines of your laptop. Schmidt's songs range from satirical to silly to painstakingly soul-searching and silly. Collection includes the hit "I Used To Love You (But Now You Suck)", as heard on German pop radio. Check out Eddie's labelmate, the infamous Jared, Butcher Of Song --who, despite being much more famous than Schmidt, is still just a two-dimensional smiley face. |
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Seen Ooze somewhere? Internet? TV? Radio? Magazine? Tell us and win prizes! |
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ALTERNATE UNIVERSE OOZE
ooze.org - the porno site we never were
ooze.net - points to an austrailian design firm. Possibly up for $ale.
theooze.com - christian fellowship site. Apparently many of them wind up here and wonder what happened to jesus! |
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Kids! Use the banner to the left and Link to Ooze! Women will respect you, men will want you, and babies will be afraid of eating utensils! |
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THE TOILET PAPER
Bathroom reading fantastico humor featuring the search engine, "Ask Jesus", and more. Check out thetp.com (Joe) and ooze.com (MJ) Co-Prank where we confront Jerry Springer with our organization, Jews for Jerry.
Jeff at THE HOUSE
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Click to hear Kirk and Spock's Sexual Misadventures - 330k author unknown |
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Jeff is a journalist trying to "make it big". Join him every weekday for a new video-adventure. Singled out as a pioneer of the desktop video zine. Also - check out the archived episodes featuring two of the editors of Ooze- on OozeTV.
NUDE TREK
A future world of nerds gone amok! Kirk doing Spock, Data doing Diana - this site serves all your sick-o sci-fi fantasies. Quell the fear in your heart and ease into this unsettling vision of Gene Roddenberry's future.
BREECH
Her hand was on the cover of THE FINGER: A COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE TO FLIPPING OFF and now she has mp3's. Visit Missy Gibson's Breech website.
KNODEL
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OUR TEEN OOZE CORRESPONDENT RECOMMENDS:
I HATE OOZE
Now how could anyone hate Ooze? Well, maybe if Ooze promised you they'd print something of yours and didn't, or we fucked your mom or something...
CHICKENHEAD
WARNING: This is not some site where they kill animals (to the best of my knowledge). A humor 'zine with topics ranging from road kill to so called , "moron banners" you will never get tired of coming here.
NEWGROUNDS
If yo don't have flash- get it. If you have a shitty computer- steal your neighbors. Created by Tom Fulp, newgrounds brings (and it says this on the site) , "The problems of the future- today!" If you are into funny songs, games where you can kill celebrities, funny flash movies and much, much more -come here. This is the funniest site on the web, in my opinion.
WEIRD LINKS
Here you will find links to everything wrong with this world - like links to a site called, "National Midget Resistance" (just saying that makes me laugh). There is just so much - well, weird - content on this site.
ROTTEN
This site is fucked up. If you are not 18 - DO NOT click on this link (I did - but only for editorial reasons.) Here you can find bizarre death photos and videos, weird shit about sex, celeb. autopsy photos, and even mugshots of Pee Wee Herman. I have searched the webs deepest darkest corners to find a site like this, and when I did, I wasn't sure I knew what I was getting into.
REJECTED LINK EXCHANGE AD BANNERS
This page is all about rejects. No, not N'Sync, but banners rejected from Link Exchange. I have no idea how this person attained these banners, but he has a lot of them.
SHINE MAGAZINE
At this site you can find all kinds of crap here ranging from prank phone calls, to bizarre news from around the world. Prank calls rule·huh-huh.
Matt Grainger is only 14 1\2 and a huge computer nerd.. He has an unexplainable hatred for that little kid on 7th Heaven named Simon. For all these reasons, it is not appropriate for him to review any porno sites. |
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They did the soundtrack to Ooze #10 - now they have an album... It's electronic music like the Germans never intended.
AMERICANS FOR PURITY: WINNING THE WAR ON MASTURBATION
This site is dedicated to exposing the REAL Number One Public Health Problem in America today: Masturbation. Go to be Educated on the Straight Facts about the EVILS of Masturbation!
BIBLICAL ACTION FIGURES
Was Jesus black or white? It doesn't matter what you believe because trainupachild.com offers both models of posable action figures - part of a set of 10 biblical action figures available for $2.95 each. Get a white Job and black Goliath to fight to the death! Reenact your fave "Different Strokes" Episode with a black David and white Moses! Now race can divide Christians with Kung-Fu grip!
BERT IS EVIL
Documented proof that Bert from the Sesame Street is Evil. Very amusing. I know that this site isn't exactly an Ooze discovery (having been up for a webby and all) but the author mentions his inspiration came from the reviews from the defunct magazine, Internet Underground. Specifically, he mentions a review I wrote on Mr. T Ate My Balls. So indirectly, I wrote this page. Where's my fucking award?
SATAN'S GAME - ROLE PLAYING GAMES ARE EVIL
Dungeons & Dragons teaches children to summon devils and spirits! Join our Finnish friend in his quest to rid the world of devil worshipping nerds. Links to other clever parody sites as well.
PERILOUS TIMES
The Perilous Times is opposed to the homosexual agenda, the pagan agenda, the Satanist agenda, the feminist agenda, the New World Order agenda and the mother earth agenda! Wow. Fresh from Bismark, North Dakota straight into your black little heart. These people are like Jack Chick, minus the art.
JESUS CHRIST'S HOMEPAGE
Jesus has Risen and has a Homepage on AOL. Learn about what the Lord likes and dislikes, where he lives, and what he likes to do in his spare time. You've got God!
THE TRUE TRUTH
The True Truth seeks the truth on a tour France to protest topless beaches for being sinful. Also available: chastity belts, menstrual chairs, and the best movie reviews on the Internet. Christ couldn't be happier.
SPLEENWORLD
Home of the Charlton Heston Online Shrine. Get your paws off my mouse, you damn dirty Ape!
PRAY FOR THE WILDCATS
In 1974 ABC Television produced one of the greatest television movies of all time- Pray for the Wildcats - starring Robert Reed (Dad from the Brady Bunch) William Shatner (Kirk, Hooker, Priceline.com) and Andy Griffith as a maniacal businessman cum motorcycle gangster. This movie has to be seen to be believed - and this site tries to capture this two-fisted television star motorcycle pic.
FIERCE
It's not just a links site, but editorial with links. Anyway, they update everyday, and there are lots of fantastic sites they find. We were a "fiercely ridiculous site" way back, so that tells you something.
TYRANNOSAURUS LEX
Fuck Disney's Dinosaur - the real power behind the Jurassic were the Sleestaks of Land of the Lost. Learn everything you never wanted to know about the Classic and the 1990 "Next Generation" series from legendary producers Sid and Marty Kroft.
The BoozeZone
There's nothing funnier than a drunk- well- maybe an Ecuadorian drunk who runs this tribute to alcohol. Check out the flash game here about killing the Mexican police in a drunken rampage. AA Recommended!
A COURSE IN SWEDISH CURSING
Ever wonder what the Swedish Chef was muttering on the Muppets? I couldn't find out exactly what "bork bork bork" means, but otherwise have a command on how to cuss like a fjord-loving sailor. Den kåte jäveln skulle kunna knulla sin egen syster! (That horny bastard would even fuck his own sister!)
THE MAD REVISIONIST -REVISIONISM REVISITED
Holocaust Revisionists suggest that the Jewish Holocaust is an elaborate hoax. But THE MAD REVISIONISTS feel that they have developed a whole new methodology for determining historical truth through the discarding of evidence. Why shouldn't every historical event be subjected to this scrutiny? This site uncorks revisionism and applies it to many fields of human endeavor - like that WWII never happened.
KILL UGLY TELEVISION
The carnival of carnal humor including a lot of strange multi media crap, rants and pictures.
GREAT BOSTON MOLASSES FLOOD of 1919
http://www.mv.com/ipusers/arcade/molasses.htm
http://home.nycap.rr.com/useless/molasses/molasses.html
In Ooze #6 we printed a very short article on one of the most bizarre industrial accidents in American history. These two articles really bring this terribly sugary flood to life (and link to Ooze!) I should pitch this as a Movie of the Week to FOX... When Sweeteners Attack! |
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