by Dr. Seusspeare

Act II Scene III

OPHILIA:
Boo hoo Hamlet,
It's been a bad day,
But if I kill me-self,
Will me problems go away?
Whether by rope
Or by gun
Or swallow a shoe.
By train
Or by plane
Or Snickety Snoo!
Or just hold my breath
Until I turn blue.
Hamlet K. Hamlet,
What ever shall I do?

HAMLET:
To be, To be,
Or not to be.
To be a bee,
Or a zimzimateezee!
To die, to sleep,
Perchance to dream
Of inhaling large doses
Of whippedy cream!
Ophilia, I love you
More than Spaghetti-os,
Pizza, ice cream,
Or cheesy omletteos.
More than the buns
In Mr. Smith's bunnery.
But I say, dear Ophilia:
Get thee to a nunnery!

OPHILIA:
You can not, will not,
Send me away!
Forever here, I'm here.
And here I'll stay!
Out of my way,
You Wurtenburg fake.
I'm drowning myself,
In Poondskoominy Lake!

(Ophilia jumps into lake and drowns)

HAMLET:
To each man,
Death comes in turn.
Damn!
I forgot to go bowling
With Roz and Guildenstern!

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