You Can't Figure Out The Internet? Ha ha ha. Don't look to me for help. I'm a really smart person and YOU are SOOO DUMB!!! I belong to alot of mailing lists too. :) That's a smiley face, stupid. %( And that's you after I beat you up. Well, pay my older brother to beat you up. This issue I decided if you can't figure out how to read Ooze on the internet yourself, you shouldn't be on the internet! Go watch sports you stupid sporty guy! This is MY territory! Ha Ha! So why don't you RTFM! But I forgot, you can't R! (That's Read The Fucking Manual! Ha HA!. Oh this is too much fun. Hee heeeee. Ooh. Where's my athsma medicine?)

Take this simple test, and if you don't fail, then you can subscribe to Ooze. If you get even one question wrong, well then mister, I'd suggest you spend 20-30 hours a week on the net for a while, then maybe you'll be able to FRWHDYSB!

You're too stupid to get Ooze off the internet if...
You can only read this document if it is printed out on paper.
You can only understand this document if it is read aloud to you slowly.
You only like the taste.
You fear your electronic mail might shock you if it gets wet.
You think FTP is a brand of motor oil.
You think using Gopher to get Ooze off the internet involves having Fred Grandy get it for you.
You think Fred Grandy is Gumby's cousin.
You think the internet is used to catch big fish.
You don't think you need WWW access because you can get the WWF World Wrestling Federation already.
You don't think.
You're afraid these adobe Acrobats might shatter if they're dropped.
You think a mouse is a tiny mammal.
You are really stupid.

Obviously you're too stupid, because you're reading this right now.

The World's Stupidest Shareware
Back to Ooze #7 index

Ooze #7 ----- Winter '96

Ooze Magazine
The Journal of Substance, Wit,and Dangerous Masturbatory Habits