Star Wars or your SOUL?


The evening of February 21, 1997 saw the opening of yet another chapter in the foul travesty known as the Star Wars trilogy. Brother Luke and I determined that we couldn't let another of these foul movies open without some sort of protest. Fortunately, for once we considered ourselves lucky to reside in the Sodom of the America's entertainment industry. After making some more of our striking pamphlets (in Adobe Acrobat form (176 k), we headed out to the infamous Mann's Chinese Theatre in the heart of Hollywood to make our presence felt. Praise the Lord!

People seemed very receptive to our protest. We talked to many heathens and christians alike alerting them to the dangers of the Force. After standing out in the balmy Los Angeles winds for almost five hours and passing out many fliers, we went home to give thanks for our good fortune!
(pictures of the actual event to come!)

Here are some examples of the many questions people asked us:

Are you serious?

Luke: A lot of people see this movie and think the force is real.¾ We're here to save them.

Mortimer: Would we joke about eternal salvation?

Luke: We had a friend who died in car accident because he wasn't wearing his seat belt.¾ He believed that this supposed "Force" would protect him. We don't want that to happen to anyone else.

Anyone who doesn't wear their seatbelt is just stupid.

Mortimer: Not if he was under the influence of the "Force."

It says on your pamphlet that the Force is Tool of Satan. But it also says Jesus is The Force. Doesn't that mean that Jesus is a tool of Satan?

Luke: No. Jesus is the Lord. That might seem like a contridiction to you...

Mortimer: There are a lot of things that seem like contridictions in religion, but this isn't one of them.

Isn't Jesus just like the Force? See, the Force is in everything and so is Jesus!

Luke: No they aren't. Star Wars is just a movie. The Force is a fantasy. Jesus is reality.

I'm a Christian and you make Christians look stupid. You're ruining it for the rest of us. Do you think Jesus would be out here protesting a movie?

Mortimer: Yes he would, if Jesus thought this movie was evil.

Luke: Actually, Jesus is here with us protesting this movie. He is everywhere!

I'm a professional graphic designer and you might get more people interested in your cause if you did a little more than draw on horns on your photos. It looks kind of stupid and amatuerish.

Mortimer: Normally the horns and tails don't show up in photos so we had to "draw" them to reveal their true colors.

Your flier is anti-semetic. Why do you call George Lucas a Jew? That's racist! Wasn't Jesus a Jew?

Mortimer: Yes. But he was also the Son of God!

So why is George Lucas wrong?

Mortimer: Because Jesus is right.

What ministry do you guys belong to?

Luke: We are starting an electronic ministry. (You, dear reader, are already here!)

I don't have a computer.

Luke: Then we can't help you.

Your stupid prank is a big waste of paper. Thanks for the ruining the rainforest. I like to breathe, assholes!

We had no reply to this. Did they think WE were out there for our health? Were we guilty of wasting paper? Not if it could save a soul. May God forgive us.

We hope that our replies helped because the Force is something you can't take lightly. Young people, even christians, don't normally see that Luke Skywalker is a force of evil. We may not have stopped anyone from seeing the film, but at least we made them think! Praise Jesus!

Mortimer and Luke Fontaine both work in the fashion industry and hold degrees from Oral Roberts University.

© 1997, 1999 Mortimer and Luke FontaineGo to homepage

[Force=Satan¾Home] [Q&A] [The Phantom Menace to Your SOUL]

Download the original Force is a Tool of SATAN pamphlet in convenient Adobe Acrobat format(176 k).
Download this and print these up on your laser printer to spread the word!

Read volumes of Hate Mail sent to us by outraged Star Wars Fans everywhere!


Check out the New Videos of us protesting Mann's Chinese Theatre