9) Velma From Scooby Doo-- The glasses are very hip, very Lisa Loeb, Generation X,Y and Z! That sweater though, has got to go. And the big question remains: Is she or isn't she?
8) Dynomutt-- All that silver is so passe on a dog. No sense of accessory at all. Ugh, gag me with a Blue Falcon!
7) The Shmoo-- WHAT dress? Is he supposed to be naked? What's a Shmoo supposed to be anyway? My guess is a waddling puddle of goo.
6) Hong Kong Phooey-- Bonus points for the mask, very Zorro, but those rags and tatters are what sent the grunge look into the department stores. Yesterday's news. Hong Kong Phoney.
5) Hula Hula from Plastic Man-- Who does he think he is in those shirts? Weird Al's Hawaiian cousin? Tom Selleck's worst nightmare? Egad!
4) Butt-head-- Excuse me, is it still 1991? White man's burden, indeed!
3) Huckelberry Hound-- Pastel blue, big mistake! And that hat... A nice fedora, and this hound might not be such a bow-wow.
2) Davy from Davy & Goliath-- That little-boy-claymation look is so tired. And that hair, ugh! Ronald Reagan in reverse.
1) Captain Caveman-- He is in desperate need of a shave and a hosedown. The three ratty whiskers around the nose are a major turnoff. The club, however, is fantastic!
MY SUMMER VACATION
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The Journal of Substance, Wit,and Dangerous Masturbatory Habits