Medicine Song

"Modern Day Medicine Lover"

a chart topping song by Jason Tremblay (Mobiuss@aol.com)

I can remember quite lucidly,
When I was a boy,
Laying on a hospital bed in an open-back gown.

My parents gazed blankly, politely, out the window

As the doctor probed my rectum with his finger.

"Nice and tight," said he,

Though I thought it a rather odd thing to say.

(CHORUS)

Hey, doc, can I have another?

Hey, doc, can you put me under?

Send in another nurse,

I'm growing slightly worse,

I'm a modern day medicine lover.

I can recall only vaguely, hazily

Having radioactive syrup injected into my pelvis.

Shaved my pubes, talk about razor burn,

Think I pissed myself, I blame the drugs.

How can they expect smalltalk while you're high

with a wire running behind your dick?

(CHORUS)

I can recall painfully, disjointedly,

A large nurse saying, "This might hurt a little bit,"

As she began reeling in a three foot line that ran through

my love muscle to my bladder.

I still wanted to scream through all the drugs I was on

During that fine February afternoon.

I pissed in blue- handled water pitchers for days until

I could walk again.

(CHORUS)

Hey, doc, can I have another? (one fer the road!)

Hey, doc, can ya put me under? (amaze your friends!)

Send in a sexy nurse, I'm headin' for a Hearse,

I'm a modern day medicine lover.

Ooze Magazine
The Journal of Substance, Wit,and Dangerous Masturbatory Habits