If you're like many people today, you may unwittingly be part of the Big Lie: the health food craze. "Health food?," you may ask, "I always thought it was good for you." Think again. Health food is nothing less than Satan attempting to take control of your body, physiology, and your mind. Health food promotes an awareness of the physical and the Earthly over the heavenly and spiritual. What may be 'good' for your physical being will rot away at your spiritual being like a cancer. While you may live longer on Earth, "organic carrots" will be of no aid to you in an eternity of fiery hell. Are those extra few years of life worth risking what lies on the other side?
1. Does food posses nutrition, or does food posses us?
Be not desirous of his dainties: for they are deceitful meat.
Health food is eaten for physical well-being, illustrated by a physiological change. This change in your bodily functioning may seem insignificant, but it is in fact just enough to alter your mind and in turn let other nasties into your system: vegetarianism, the 'New Age religions', crystals, 'horror-scopes', meditation, and sexual yoga positions. All of these will join forces to destroy the True Word replacing it with greed and false idolatry.
2. Pagan Proteins
And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die: For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.
What then do the intake of pagan proteins like 'tofu' and fibers like 'oat bran' do directly to your spiritual life? The after-life is no longer important as 'health-food' freaks seek to achieve virtual immortality, defying God to let Nature run its course. Nor do they care that Satan may be upon them, as they arrogantly believe their physiological form to be of stronger constitution. If Slim Goodbody were to wrestle Satan, who do you think would win?
3. Eats of Eden
Thus saith the Lord; Cursed be the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm, and whose heart departeth from the Lord.
When God created the Earth, He gave man ultimate domain over the kingdom of beasts. The strong urge towards vegetarianism promoted by the serpent-like Big Lie of health food not only goes against God, but it goes against Nature, His Creation. To not eat animals lowers humans to the level of them, giving equal place to humans and animals on Earth denying humans their gift of dominance. Vegetarianism is the Great Tool of Satan! Satan believes that he can trick you into believing that humans are beasts and before long, you will be acting as such: strutting around naked, copulating with anything that moves, man woman, OR BEAST! We must eat the flesh of animals, maintaining our control over the lower beings!
4. 'OAT BRAN': the False Prophet
Eat thou not the bread of him that hath an evil eye... the morsel which thou hast eaten shalt thou vomit up, and lose thy sweet words.
Satan has so blatantly encoded his word into the health-food craze, revealing the terrible hoax in an obvious manner. Seek the message implicit in the words, O-A-T and B-R-A-N. Oat bran is certainly the greatest force in the popularization of health food. And strangely enough (or not) there is a hidden meaning. If one adds up the numeric values of the letters (A=1, B=2, C=3...Z=26), the message becomes clear.
The number 36 stands for 3 sixes, or six squared is equal to 36. Either way, '666', the devil's mark is revealed. Oat Bran is Satan's Fiber!
Five great steps to spiritual fitness
1. Strive for spiritual health, not physical health.
2. Don't watch your fiber intake, but your moral fiber within.
3. Eat animal flesh at every meal and command thy pets and livestock heartily.
4. Renounce the false prophet Oat Bran, for this is the tainted food.
5. Read the Bible for True Understanding of His Word.
And in their mouth was found no guile, for they are without fault before the throne of God.
Friend, I beg you to write me at email@example.com for further information; the after-life you save could be your own.
-The Reverend Arnold Joy, Church of the Divine Feast
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The Journal of Substance, Wit,and Dangerous Masturbatory Habits