HOW TO PLAY: Print out this sheet. Find another person. Do not let this person read the stories below. Ask them for words that fit the guidelines below. If the blank requires a noun, ask for a noun from the other person, and write it in the space provided. If you do not know what a noun is, go back to school, learn basic English, and return to this game.
DEATH NOTICE
__________________ ________________
(YOUR FIRST NAME) (YOUR LAST NAME),
A _______ _______, age _____..
(RACE) (SEX) (AGE)
Worked as a(n) _________.
(OCCUPATION)
Survived by ____________, a(n) ____________.
(FAMILY RELATION) (OCCUPATION)
Found dead on ____. at ________. around ______
(DATE) (PLACE) (TIME)
The immediate cause of death: ____________.
(WAY TO DIE)
If obvious marks of distress are present, their location:
__________.
(BODY PART)
Wound appears: __________
(ADJECTIVE)
Suicide? _____
(YES OR NO)
Method of disposal: ____________
(BURIAL METHOD)
I hereby declare this to be the truth:
____________________________., ______
(NAME OF COUNTY CORONER) (DATE)
CLASSIC LITERATURE
Beowulf wæs breme (blæd ______ sprang),
(ADVERB)
Scyldes ______ Scedelandum in.
(VERB)
_____________ sceal geong ______________________ gewyrcean,
(DANK PLACE) (BLOOD-SOAKED ADJECTIVE)
____________________ feohgiftum on _____________ bearme,
(VIKING EXCLAMATION) (FEARSOME NOUN)
þæt ____________ on ylde eft gewunigen
(SMITING VERB)
wilgesiþas, þonne wig ___________,
(GUTTERAL SLUR)
leode __________________________ lofdædum sceal
(DANISH TERM OF ENDEARMENT)
in mægþa ______________ man geþeon.
(SNEEZING SOUND)
Him a Scyld gewat to ____________________!
(WORD FOR GERMAN DRIVING COMFORT)
MODERN LITERATURE
My buddies and I were hanging out in a bar when she
walked up to me. The way she was
___________________, it was obvious she wanted to
(VERB ENDING IN ING)
_______ me, bad. She had a beautiful set of
(VERB)
_____________ that would make any man go
(BODY PART(S))
______________! She grabbed me and screamed,
(EXCLAMATION)
"_______ me! _______ me now on this
(VERB) (VERB)
______________!" as she ripped off my
(FURNITURE)
__________________, exposing my ___________ for all to
(PIECE OF CLOTHING) (BODY PART)
see. I wasn't embarassed though since it's
_________ inches long and would make any man
(NUMBER)
___________! This girl was so __________,
(ADJECTIVE) (ADJECTIVE)
it made me _______ my _______
(VERB) (NOUN)
a bit too _______. She yelled ____________,
(NOUN) (EXCLAMATION)
______________ as I started screaming ____________
(EXCLAMATION) (EXCLAMATION)
and ________ all over her ____________.
(VERB)ED (BODY PART)
But that didn't stop her. __________ other guys followed
(NUMBER)
my lead and all started to _______ her simultaneously.
(VERB)
I have never seen a girl get __________
(VERB)ED
so _______ by so many people!
(ADVERB)
What a great ________ we had!
(PERIOD OF TIME)
-overlord@ooze.com
The Journal of Substance, Wit,and Dangerous Masturbatory Habits |