Very Mad Libs

HOW TO PLAY: Print out this sheet. Find another person. Do not let this person read the stories below. Ask them for words that fit the guidelines below. If the blank requires a noun, ask for a noun from the other person, and write it in the space provided. If you do not know what a noun is, go back to school, learn basic English, and return to this game.

DEATH NOTICE
__________________    ________________
(YOUR FIRST NAME)   (YOUR LAST NAME),
A _______ _______, age _____..
  (RACE)  (SEX)     (AGE)
Worked as a(n) _________.
          (OCCUPATION)
Survived by ____________, a(n) ____________.
      (FAMILY RELATION)  (OCCUPATION)
Found dead on ____. at ________. around ______
            (DATE)  (PLACE)       (TIME)
The immediate cause of death: ____________.
                        (WAY TO DIE)
If obvious marks of distress are present, their location: __________.
                                          (BODY PART)
Wound appears: __________
             (ADJECTIVE)
Suicide? _____
     (YES OR NO)
Method of disposal: ____________
             (BURIAL METHOD)
I hereby declare this to be the truth:
____________________________.,  ______
(NAME OF COUNTY CORONER)  (DATE)

CLASSIC LITERATURE
Beowulf wæs breme (blæd ______ sprang),
                    (ADVERB)
Scyldes ______ Scedelandum in.
      (VERB)
_____________ sceal geong ______________________ gewyrcean,
(DANK PLACE)       (BLOOD-SOAKED ADJECTIVE)
____________________ feohgiftum on _____________ bearme,
(VIKING EXCLAMATION)      (FEARSOME NOUN)
þæt ____________ on ylde eft gewunigen
  (SMITING VERB)
wilgesiþas, þonne wig ___________,
               (GUTTERAL SLUR)
leode __________________________ lofdædum sceal
  (DANISH TERM OF ENDEARMENT)
in mægþa ______________ man geþeon.
        (SNEEZING SOUND)
Him a Scyld gewat to ____________________!
           (WORD FOR GERMAN DRIVING COMFORT)

MODERN LITERATURE
My buddies and I were hanging out in a bar when she walked up to me. The way she was
___________________, it was obvious she wanted to
(VERB ENDING IN ING)
_______ me, bad. She had a beautiful set of
(VERB)
_____________ that would make any man go
(BODY PART(S))
______________! She grabbed me and screamed,
(EXCLAMATION)
"_______ me! _______ me now on this
 (VERB)      (VERB)
______________!" as she ripped off my
 (FURNITURE)
__________________, exposing my ___________ for all to
(PIECE OF CLOTHING)         (BODY PART)
see. I wasn't embarassed though since it's
_________ inches long and would make any man
(NUMBER)
___________! This girl was so __________,
(ADJECTIVE)             (ADJECTIVE)
it made me _______ my _______
         (VERB)   (NOUN)
a bit too _______. She yelled ____________,
       (NOUN)        (EXCLAMATION)
______________ as I started screaming ____________
(EXCLAMATION)               (EXCLAMATION)
and ________ all over her ____________.
   (VERB)ED        (BODY PART)
But that didn't stop her. __________ other guys followed
                   (NUMBER)
my lead and all started to _______ her simultaneously.
                     (VERB)
I have never seen a girl get __________
                      (VERB)ED
so _______ by so many people!
  (ADVERB)
What a great ________ we had!
        (PERIOD OF TIME)

-overlord@ooze.com


Think You're a Vampire?    Sexual Celebration
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Ooze #8 ----- Summer '96

Ooze Magazine
The Journal of Substance, Wit,and Dangerous Masturbatory Habits