[Picture Stupidest Shareware]

It's once again our privilege to present THE STUPIDEST SHAREWARE EVER VOLUME IV. This issue's offerings are just as stupid and offensive as a program can be. TECHNICAL NOTE: Mac programs are encoded in binhex format. The Windows program is uuencoded. You will need a uuencode or binhex translator program to expand and run these programs on your machine.

SHIT EATIN' GRIN
In the tradition of our popular "poop" series of quality shareware, pigpile1 (pigpile1@aol.com) offers us this nasty game. A large turd is lobbed onto the screen, and you have to catch it... with your mouth. Stunning graphics and superb gameplay. This cophrophiliac wonder is a must for any gamer.

(94k) Click Here for Crap!

THE COMPLETE STATE
Freedom is irrelevant. The State (not the people from MTV but the real Zionist, illuminated, shriner conspiracy) orders you to download this program. Upon its successful installation, you will be greeted by a directive of the State every time you start your mac. You Will Love this Program. Written by Zak Weisfeld (Zakkk@aol.com) and programmed by Ian Smith (freeverse@aol.com) of HEARTS DELUXE fame. (Mac User Shareware award winner)

(77k) Click Here for Controlling Force.

OOZEme.qt
A masterful MIDI composition recalling the bygone days of Ooze majesty all in convenient Quicktime 2.0 format. Maestro Jelks (KB5QL@aol.com) studied classical piano in Lezpig and Stausburg and has conducted the Krackow symphony in Poland.

(34K) Click Here to hear the song.
[note: this file is NOT encoded. If you have Quicktime installed on your computer then it should work as is]

TREK FONT
It's a font. I have no idea what it looks like because it's for Windows. Just put this in your Windows\System directory, and add the font in using your Font Control Panel. Submitted by Doug Gwilliam (DOUGGW@WordPerfect.com).

(43k) Click Here for super font. (uuencoded)

SEND US YOUR SUBMISSIONS
If you've got a really dumb, semi-functional program you want to share with the world submit it to Ooze! Any file you have the rights to... any format... anytime.

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Ooze #6 ----- Fall '95

Ooze Magazine
The Journal of Substance, Wit,and Dangerous Masturbatory Habits