There are just sooooo many bands these days. And naturally, the more there are, the harder it is to stand out. The key to commanding a marquee today seems to be largely in the name. Pick a catchy one and people might at least remember you, even if you suck.

Unfortunately, the imagination going into choosing these names seems to be rapidly diminishing. To save an up and coming musician's time and energy when they could be out ROCKIN, I've put together a fully categorized list with potential attention-grabbing monikers. Just match the attitude you want your band to project with the ones listed below, and select a name.


Examples: Eve's Plum, Don Knotts Overdrive
Attitude: You are a crazy bunch of media savvy iconoclasts whose perky music might just take the pop world by storm.
Dress: Very carefully thought out I-Don't-Care look. Lead singer wears an old Donnie and Marie shirt. The drummer has a Starsky and Hutch lunchbox.
Proposed Names:
  • Gilligan's Testicles
  • Lorne Greene Day
  • Dead Trumans
  • Sammy Davis Jr's Glass Eye Revue
  • PBJ Simpson
  • Veruca H.T. Salt Fish & Chips
  • Norman Mailer Female?
  • Woody Allen Funt Experience
  • Searching For Eddie Fischer
  • Dredd Foxx
  • Jamie Gwarr
  • Opie's Fallopian
  • Boxing Hitlers
  • Father, Son, and Donny Most


    Examples: Portishead, Mazzy Star
    Attitude: You approach the mystical in a commercial new-agey way. Your music is all about spreading a vague message of peace and conspicuous consumption.
    Dress: Neo-Hippiesque 'don't care' dress accented by your strong unwashed/patchouli odor.
  • Frontal Lobe Muffler
  • Astral Downpour
  • Boggle Flashback
  • The Floating Grandmas
  • Myxlplyx Turnpike
  • Bald Man Fever
  • Lovable Medulla
  • Deja Vu Itch
  • Pancreas Rooftop


    Examples: Morphine, Codeine
    Attitude: Dangerous drugs are cool. Oh, yeah. We play music too.
    Dress: Do I have to get dressed?-look.
  • Penicillin
  • Ether
  • Really Strong Magic Marker
  • Asper Gum
  • Bean-O Fun
  • Benadryls
  • Robitusson Jello
  • Retin and the A-tones
  • St. Joseph's For Children
  • Vince Calamine & The Lotions


    Examples: Genesis, Jesus Lizard
    Attitude: You're band is so good, you inspire God Himself to ROCK.
    Dress: Standard rock fare of the time. You don't want to annoy God too much. Just in case.
  • Corinthians III
  • Buddha Boyz
  • MC 9,000,000,431 Ft. Jesus
  • Hindudes
  • Moog Mormons
  • Go Go God
  • Bible Bleaters
  • Bhagavad Cheeta


    Example: 4Skins, Revolting Cocks
    Attitude: Society sucks so we're going to scream and dump stuff on you.
    Dress: When not taking a dump onstage or running around college campuses naked, you wear freshly killed animal hide.
  • Steaming Cat Puke
  • Urethra Franklin
  • Eye Socket Sandwich With Cole Slaw
  • Rudy & The Felchmonsters
  • Anal Fissure
  • Roasted Bunyans
  • The Psoriasis Explosion
  • Sizzling Foreskin
  • Free Mucous!
  • Pubic Cerconium
  • Raging Dog Cock
  • Sucking Athlete's Foot
  • Fitting Another Man's Penis Inside Your Own

    For added variety you can mix 'n match name parts together for an almost unlimited variety of results!

    --Ed Schmidt

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    [Ooze #5 Summer '95]

    Ooze Magazine
    The Journal of SSubstance, Wit,and Dangerous Masturbatory Habits