OOZE INDEX

Here are some collected statistics for the whole family to enjoy and to learn from. Isn't the magical world of numbers special to behold?

Number of Pecks in a Bushel: 12
Number of numbers needed to count to ten: 10
Gallons of snot produced by the average human per year: 1.71
Height, in feet, from which a cat can be dropped and still survive: 100.34
Height, in feet, from which a baby can be dropped: 5.2
Number of fluid ounces of 7-Up it takes to explode after eating Pop Rocks: 12.6
[Picture of a falling Baby] Number of holes in a human head (no piercings): 5
Number of doughnuts in a "Baker's Dozen": 13
Average number of doughnuts your car can do in the Baker's yard before he calls the cops: 4
Number of orgasms a man can have before a 'blow out': 12,678
How many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop: 12, 678
How many licks it takes to get to the center of a human head: 12,678,876,231
Average number of nipples on a human body: 2.15
Percentage of Americans over 40 who can't remember where they were when they first heard John F. Kennedy died: 17
Percentage of Americans over 40 who can't remember who John F. Kennedy was: 13.1
Maximum number of people stuffed into a phone booth at the height of the 1950s fad: 17
Maximum number of fat guys: 1
Percentage of straight men who admit they are attracted to the women in the cast of "Melrose Place": 89
Percentage of straight men who admit they are attracted to the women in the cast of "Laugh-In": 93
Average number of fingers on the human body: 10.8
Average number of fingers on a dog: .04
Average number of bowel movements a human takes in a lifetime: 103, 261
Average number of times said human finishes, looks into the toilet and says: "whoah!": 27
Approximate number of rodent hairs in a pack of Oscar Meyer bologna: 8
Approximate number of rodent hairs left on the rodent: 6
Approximate number of these entries which are funny: 6

[Bullet]YOU WILL
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[Ooze #5 Summer '95]

Ooze Magazine
The Journal of SSubstance, Wit,and Dangerous Masturbatory Habits