Most people in this great big world have a hard time visualizing what the Internet is. Al Gore is usually credited with coining the much over-used metaphor Information Super-Highway in an off the cuff statement a few years ago, and we've been stuck with it ever since. Our crack Washington corespondent, Biffy Winkler, reports that this seemingly spontaneous remark was actually the product of several agonizing months of exhaustive research. While looking for a new spring outfit in a dumpster outside the White House, Biffy uncovered a wrinkled scrap of Vice Presidential stationery with these other rejected metaphors hastily scratched out.

[Picture of Dead guy]

National Information Smorgasbord
Information Sewage Treatment Plant
The Information Abandoned Exit-Ramp
The Information Shriners' Parade
The Information Open Drainage Trench
Electronic Buzzy Place
Old, Blind Data Pushing Wheelbarrow Full Of Meager Possessions-Way
Big Steaming Pile of Information
Data Zoomy Land
Cyber-Fiber: A High Colonic For Interpersonal Communication
Informational Bloody Bout of Diarrhea
Hairy Lasagna-Way
I Can Use This To Lure Small Boys To My Office
Spot the Spectacular Performing Gerbil
Whooee! Free pictures of a Naked lady and a Donkey!

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[Ooze #5 Summer '95]

Ooze Magazine
The Journal of SSubstance, Wit,and Dangerous Masturbatory Habits